Photograph by Gerd Altmann
Conflicts will happen. Do not be surprised and discouraged by that. Be ready to handle them and not allow your emotions to lead the discussion.
- Leave people with their dignity. If you ‘win’ the argument and embarrass them in front of others, you have already lost. Let us represent God well and treat others as we want to be treated. This does not mean someone will succeed in bad behaviour if the answer is no. It does mean that you do not belittle, insult or make personal comments about your opponent…I mean congregant!
- Do not raise your voice. You are not in a playground, do not treat your church as one. State your position politely and reasonably.
- Escalate the issue when necessary and if possible. Sometimes you can tell when your tolerance threshold is in danger. Bring in appropriate help if needed.
- Remember that your conversation becomes conversations at work, at home and with friends.
- Let them know your desire is to help them. Offer alternate (reasonable) solutions if possible.
- Be firm and smile. Sometimes an honest smile (not a snide smirk), can work wonders in calming people down. It is harder to yell at someone who is smiling at you.
It is hard to say no or not allow people to do things that are not allowed to but some actions are non-negotiable. A five year old may want to drive a car on the freeway but that is still a hard no. She may kick and scream and that makes no difference. If you accommodate unreasonable, unsafe or just plain ridiculous requests, there will most likely be more to follow.
Paulette E. Bryan